Gen X and the ‘Not Enough’ Mindset: How to Break Free, Set Real Goals, and Rock Your Future

Let’s get real for a minute: not enoughness is practically a Gen X anthem. We’ve lived through a lot, from fax machines to Zoom calls, and yet so many of us feel like we’re still behind, like we haven’t hit the mark we thought we’d be hitting by now. We were supposed to have it all figured out by now, right? Career, finances, maybe even a beach house somewhere on the Amalfi Coast. Instead, here we are, wrestling with goals that are starting to feel more like “Ghostbusters” than goals—just haunting us from the sidelines.

And the real gut punch? A lot of these goals aren’t even our own. They’re things we feel like we should want, or goals someone else expected us to hit. So, naturally, when they don’t come through, we start feeling like we’re just not enough. Well, here’s the deal: it’s time to throw that mindset out the window, cue up “Eye of the Tiger,” and build a life that actually fires us up.

In this article, I’m going to show you three steps to flip that “I’m not enough” script into “I’m just getting started.” So let’s dive in.

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Redefine Success—Make It Personal and Compelling

Here’s the first problem with our goals: too many of them feel like they belong to someone else. We end up chasing some generic picture of success because that’s what the world (or social media, or our parents) told us we’re supposed to want. But if that goal doesn’t make you feel anything, then why are you chasing it?

As Jen Sincero says, “You are the only you there is, and the only you there ever will be.” So, why not build a life that only you could live? When we define success on our own terms, it becomes something that actually matters to us, something we’re willing to work for. Instead of running after what you think you “should” want, focus on what genuinely makes you feel alive. Maybe for you, success isn’t about climbing the corporate ladder; it’s about carving out time for creativity or finding freedom in your schedule.

Action Step: Take a step back from all those “should” goals. Ask yourself, What would success look like to me if no one else’s opinion mattered? Write that down and own it. That’s your new definition of success, and it’s the only one that counts.

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Set Goals That Align With Your Core Values, Not Just Expectations

Here’s the problem with goals that don’t align with our values: they drain us instead of fueling us. So many of us set goals based on fear—fear of not measuring up, of being left behind, of disappointing others. But if your goals don’t align with who you really are, they’re just going to end up making you feel exhausted and, eventually, resentful.

Dan Koe says it best: “True passion is not found; it’s built. It’s something that comes from investing in yourself and following what genuinely excites you.” Think about that for a minute. If you’re trying to hit a goal that feels like a chore, that’s a signal it’s probably not aligned with your core values. For instance, if connection is a value of yours, don’t set a goal just to make more money—set a goal to build a community, to grow a network, or to create something that brings people together.

Action Step: Write down your top three core values. Then, take a look at your current goals and ask yourself if they truly reflect those values. If they don’t, consider letting those goals go. Start building goals that fuel your passions instead of sapping your energy. Remember, you’re not here to live someone else’s life—you’re here to create your own.

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Set New Goals from the Inside Out—And Create Small Steps That Build Big Momentum

Here’s the deal: we love setting big, dramatic goals, don’t we? We tell ourselves we’re going to make a massive change, become a new person overnight, and it’s going to be like “Rocky” training montages every single day. But here’s the reality—lasting change isn’t about massive leaps; it’s about small, consistent steps. Each one adds up over time, creating serious momentum.

Think of it like this: Billy Joel didn’t start with We Didn’t Start the Fire; he worked his way up to that level of epic. And that’s what we need to do with our own lives. When you set goals from the inside out, based on what truly matters to you, and then break them down into small steps, you start building a momentum that feels natural. It’s not about doing everything at once; it’s about doing something today, and then something tomorrow, and then something the next day until you’re rolling forward with purpose.

Action Step: Pick a goal that matters to you and break it into the smallest possible steps. Want to start a business? Start with research. Want to get fit? Commit to a 10-minute walk. It doesn’t have to be massive to matter. Each small step is a brick you’re laying in the foundation of your future, so keep building. Small wins create confidence, and confidence leads to bigger action.

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So here’s the takeaway: unmet goals and outdated definitions of success don’t define you. They’re just markers along the road that show you what didn’t work, and more importantly, they give you clarity on what will work. If you’re ready to leave behind the “not enough” mindset, start redefining success on your terms, and build goals that actually mean something, then you’re already halfway there.

But here’s where it can get really exciting. Building a compelling vision for your life isn’t just about tweaking your goals—it’s about creating something so powerful that it pulls you forward. And sometimes, it helps to have someone in your corner to help you make that vision real. That’s what I do as a coach. I’m Chris Harrison, an executive coach with over 20 years in leadership, transformation and a deafening dose of rock and roll in the mix

Great athletes have coaches.

Great leaders have coaches.

And, yes, great Gen Xers need coaches, too.

If you’re ready to design a life that feels like it was made for you, let’s talk. Book a free 45-minute call with me, and let’s dive into your vision. Together, we’ll make your next chapter so thrilling, it’ll rock the universe.

Click the link, schedule your call, and let’s take the first step in creating a future that makes you say, “I’m not only enough—I’m unstoppable.” I can’t wait to connect with you!

TL;DR:

Gen Xers often struggle with feeling “not enough” due to unmet goals or comparing themselves to others. This article offers three powerful steps to break free from the comparison trap: redefine success on your own terms, set goals aligned with your values (not expectations), and build momentum with small, achievable steps. By focusing on what truly matters, you can shift from “I am not enough” to “I am just getting started” and create a life filled with purpose, confidence, and self-worth. Ready to dive deeper? Book a free 45-minute session to design a vision that rocks your future!

Check out other articles in the “Not Enough” series:

Are Gen Xers Giving Up On Themselves? Why It’s Time to Reignite Your Lost Dreams Before It’s Too Late
Gen X And The ‘Not Enough’ Mindset: How To Break Free, Set Real Goals And Rock Your Future